More Shit-heads of 2007...

Continuing...

• Lindsey Lohan - This train wreck was in and out of rehab so much, I believe they have dedicated a wing to her, right next to the Drew Barrymore Memorial Dryout Clinic. What a waste of a human being. A drunk, drug-addict, party whore who seems to have latched onto every other dubiously talented celebutant's ex boyfriends (Paris, Britney, et al) and partied till she was unable to stand in most cases. And her mother, Dina, was right by her side the whole time, riding little Lindsey's coattails to the next cash bar. Ironically, the self-righteous Ms. Dina, who is an obvious scum-sucker, made her rounds on the talk show circuit to defend Lindsey's behavior or to declare her intentions to help her wayward daughter. Yeah, right! Help her to the next nightclub is more like it. The Lohan women have turned out to be party whore's, with Mamma practically goading poor idiot Lindsey into the life she obviously wants for herself. Where, I wonder, was the elder Lohan when her daughter was arrested? Where was she then? Did she speak out on behalf of her little girl? No! She was too busy raiding Lindsey's trust fund and drinking and snorting it away. And Mister Lohan, in and out of jail... Boy, these two parents make a great team, just like the aforementioned Barrymore's... I, for one, would like to see Lindsey banned from the movie screen for all time. Any seconds?
• The Bush Administration - Lies! Lies! Lies! This group of intellectually stunted morons couldn't tell the straight truth if their lives depended on it. We have been lied to since day one about the need to attack Iraq, about the number of lives lost, the truth about Iran, and God knows what else. And the top Bush cronies keep leaving in droves - Rumsfeld, Rove, etc. Only Condie seems to hang on, but I think that's because Georgie owns her and her family as indentured slaves. The sooner this assfuck and his shit brigade are out of the American spotlight - and take that subservient wife and drunk twin daughters with - the better we will be as a country and we can begin to heal. Last year, a client of mine who works for the world news desk at the Chicago Tribune said that every country she visits, no matter where, hates the Bush Administration More than they hate Americans in general. What kind of people do we have in this nation that would elect a dumb ass country bumpkin who has abandoned his country's basic principles, turned American citizens against each other, and done it all in the name of God? I did not vote for this piece of Republican crap, and I doubt very much too many others did, since it has been proven time and again that the elections - both 2000 and 2004 - were bought and paid for, probably the same way Daddy Bush bought Georgie his diploma from Harvard. All it takes is a little green...
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes - Ah, the Stepfords... Now that both of them have waning movie careers, I likely expect Katie to divorce the notoriously gay Cruise and finally announce the true parentage of that mutant child - that it is really Chris Klein's kid. Tom Cruise is as gay! No doubt in my mind. Several years ago, when I lived in West Hollywood, I would see him driving up and down Santa Monica Blvd. slowly checking out the hustler boys along the strip. And when I read the court documents pertaining to Cruise suing a gay porn star who claimed to have an affair with him, I was convinced that Tommy is a trouser hound. First, who pays gay porn stars to "wrestle" to keep in shape, and then buy them gifts such fancy cars, pay their rent, or give them cash. Why can't Tommy go to a gym like everyone else? And why did he keep a special apartment in West Hollywood where he could "keep in shape" with these men? Sounds pretty gay to me... And when the question came up about simply hiring a personal trainer, Tommy's counsel argued that Mr. Cruise didn't want unneeded publicity. WHAT? So you pay gay porn stars and hustler's to work you out? Again, SOUNDS PRETTY GAY TO ME!!! We should all be so lucky that these two simply go away and never darken our movie screens again...

From the Department of Who Gives A Fuck...

The following names are ones that should be forever banned from the headlines...

Heidi Montag and whomever she's currently fucking

Brodie Jenner

Kim Kardashian

Janice Dickinson

Nicole Ritchie and whomever she's currently fucking

The Beckhams - Haven't we heard enough already?

The Women of the View - Jeez, they seem to be everywhere...

Hannah Montana - Miley Cyrus

Doctor Phil - who, in reality, is NOT a licensed psychologist

Halle Barry

Al Sharpton

Jesse Jackson

The Pope - anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-American, anti-Semitic bastard

Drew Peterson - Chicagoland cop and murderer

O.J. Simpson

Steroids in Baseball - Who didn't see that coming?!

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown - Where's that comeback album, Whit? Too fucked up to actually record it?

TTFN

A Multiple Mish-Mash of Meandering Missives...

It's been a while since I had the opportunity to blog, so I plan to do some catching up. Herewith is what's on my mind right now:

• Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnancy - Who didn't see this coming? If there is anyone out there ignorant enough to believe that the Spears' clan is anything but a bunch of trailer-dwelling, knuckle-dragging, buck-toothed, barefoot, cousin-fucking degenerates is sorely in need of a cerebral transplant. This 16 year old girl says she is a role model, according to an article in the Red Eye, but says she doesn't think it's right to have premarital sex. WHAT? Now, I understand, Nickelodeon is in a rush to prepare a teen pregnancy special, a la the after school specials of days gone by, to stem the deluge of hate mail and anti-Spears backlash. Ironically, Momma Spears upcoming book, some piece of excrement about being a great parent to a wonderful brood of kids and raising them in the national spotlight, was to be published by a conservative Christian publisher. HA HA! Ain't gonna happen, now, since Momma seems to be intermittently saddened and ecstatic about having a new baby in the double-wide. Meanwhile, the baby-daddy, someone no one has ever heard of, went into hiding immediately following the announcement of the younger Spears-cunt's pregnancy. After all, he's 19 years old, and in Louisiana, knocking up a minor is considered statutory rape. I find this humorous since I thought any girl in Louisiana who wasn't preggers by the age of 12 was considered too ugly to fuck, or had no brothers. I can't wait to see how this one plays out, and I would like to see what the guy looks like who would get involved with a family like the Spears. He's either hot as a gay porn star, or ugly as a dog's butt. If he's smart, he will run like Hell away from that fucked up family, to the Siberian wilderness, cut off his genitals, roast them on an open flame and feed them to a pack of wild wolverines.
• Paris Hilton Does Good - Or Does She? - Ever since she came out of prison, Paris Hilton has been lying low, but constantly runs to the media to gloat about her new found humanitarianism. She wanted to go to Rwanda, but never went, all the while telling every media outlet how much she wanted to help. How in the name of Leona Helmsley could Paris Hilton help anyone? She has the IQ of rubber cement, the looks of a horse, and the morals of O.J. Simpson. Kudos, however, to her new PR people who are obviously trying to get the public to forget Paris the Jailbird and see the new and improved Paris the Giver. Frankly, anything Paris Hilton could give I would be hesitant to take - unless penicillin is prescribed.
• Oprah Runs for Vice-President - Oprah Winfrey has put her considerable weight (absolute pun intended) behind presidential hopeful Barak Obama. She's on the campaign trail with him every step of the way. I had high hopes for Obama until Oprah's endorsement. Now, there's no way in Hell he's getting my vote. Besides, what good could Oprah do? She's the most out of touch with reality celebrity next to Paris Hilton. She doesn't even identify with her own ethnic class. Oprah is the whitest black woman I have ever seen. I unashamedly admit to hating Oprah, especially since she's such a conniving backstabber. After the James Frye debacle, I learned what a viper she is, turning on him and ambushing him on national television, all for the benefit of ratings, and to prove that she is the most powerful woman on the planet. What she doesn't tell us is that for every sale of Frye's book, Oprah gets a percentage, just like any product or book she promotes on her show. Nothing gets mentioned by Oprah for free. Her name is a product - a brand to be bartered and sold. The Angel Network to which she lends her name pays her a stipend every year so they can have her branding. The school for girls in Africa paid her over $3M just to have her name on the door. Every book she has promoted on her book club has grossed her millions upon millions. Oprah does nothing for free - there is always a price attached - much like dealing with the Devil. I wouldn't be surprised if she eats souls for breakfast. Again, I wish she never threw her hat into the political ring. Her stink is all over the campaign trail - most especially the Obama camp.
• Oprah Cries For Abused African Girls - This has got to be the biggest piece of shit to ever be concocted. If Oprah shed one single tear over the alleged abuse at her private school in Africa, it's because her name was attached to it, not because some unfortunate young girl was harmed or abused. I sincerely do not believe that Oprah Winfrey cared one iota about another girl's physical being, unless it impacted her own financial standing. Oprah gains alot from having her name attached to that school - honor, prestige, and the yearly millions for leasing her name. If Oprah is truly upset, it's because this became public. I bet dollars to donuts she tried to squelch the whole thing, but somehow, even her considerable reach couldn't hush things up. So Oprah says she cried for over half an hour when she found out the horrible allegations of abuse, but not for any humanitarian reasons - her name got sullied - and that means more to her than some little black girl halfway around the world in a place that doesn't have running water or modern appliances. Boo hoo, Oprah! I hope Gayle was there to console you, since Steadman was probably too busy in a sling room at a gay bathhouse. And a hearty "Fuck you."
• Madonna Is Secretly Angelina Jolie - Madonna did everything Angelina Jolie did this past year, copying her every move, right down to adopting an African baby. Madonna adopted an "orphan" from Malawi, but I thought the definition of orphan was to have NO parents. This kid has a father, who Madonna paid a handsome million to rent/lease/purchase his kid. Madonna and her husband, Mister Madonna (his real name has been lost to antiquity), bought this kid and when the American press vilified them, she went on Oprah (big surprise) to cry British tears (you're from Detroit, you stupid bitch), that she was doing this for all the right reasons. Yeah. Sure. If publicity is the right reason. You see, Madonna's musical career has come to a screeching halt, much like her movie career. Her albums don't sell nearly as many as they did twenty years ago, and her fan base has grown up and over her. Her most dedicated fans now are badly aging circuit fags, who pop ecstasy while fondly remembering Madge before she became a Limey. So, like Angelina, Vadge rents a baby in a matter of days for a whole lot of lucre. Regular folk who want to adopt usually have to wait years for their turn, but not the Material Cow. She gets her baby right-fucking-now. And since she got a black baby, I wonder if she just needed help around the house with chores and the like, since I doubt very much her own kids lift one fucking finger to do an honest days work. After all, Esther has to spend as much time with Lourdes as possible, to get her as whored up as Mommy to parade her around for the paparazzi to gawk at. You're a true mother, Madonna - a motherfucker.
• Owen Wilson Fails At Suicide - I cannot resist commenting on someone who is rich and famous and needs so much attention that he has to attempt suicide to get noticed. Owen Wilson broke up Kate Hudson's marriage, bagged her and then up and slits his wrists - and lives! What an asshole! Is there nothing he can do right? As far as an actor, his talent runs the gamut from A to A, with no stops in between, but this is outrageous. Dude, you're rich, famous, getting steady - if unnoticeable - work, and you were fucking Goldie Hawn's daughter. What, in your life is so bad that you have to try to kill yourself? WHAT? And truth be told, your brother is a much better actor - and twice as hot as you will ever be. Good luck in your future. If you ever try to do this again, idiot, DO IT RIGHT!
• Michael Vick Rabid as a Pit bull - Michael Vick was convicted of dog fighting, and sentenced to a pitiful prison term of five years, for which he already gets three years off for good behavior. He said he regrets what he did - AFTER HE GOT CAUGHT! Seems the ol' celebrity mindfuck of repentance kicked in - admit guilt, apologize to fans and accept responsibility - but ONLY after getting caught. I have a Christmas wish for Michael Vick - ROT IN HELL YOU MISERABLE FUCKING NIGGER PIECE OF SHIT! I hope you get raped, robbed and thrown into a cage of hungry, abused pit bulls and Rottweiler's. Maybe then you will be repentant, you sick pile of black garbage. I spit on you, your family and most of all on your mother - who obviously raised you to harm anything smaller than yourself. If you die in prison, I will celebrate by having a Thank You party. If you survive, - and you will because you're most likely going to ClubFed - I hope someone shoots you in the balls the minute you step out from your cell. Go fuck yourself, you deranged asshole.
• Ellen Degeneres Sells Out Gay Community - I have very little information on this, but I do know that Ellen Degeneres had one of the Bush daughters on her show a few weeks ago, and together, they called Daddy Bush at the White House just to chat. I find this appalling and disgusting for someone in the gay community. For Ellen to pander to the Republican right by having one of the enemy's devil-spawn on her show is a complete slap in the face to gay people around the world. Since he got into office, George W. Bush has made it a priority to denigrate gays and lesbians, calling for a Constitutional change so that our rights are further buried. And here comes Ellen. Obviously, Ellen hates gays as much as the Bush family loves drugs and booze. And she sold us out. Kudos, Ellen. The day I read this news, I went home and immediately tore through my DVD and book collections, removed everything with you in it, from concert and stand up videos, to books and articles. You are a disgrace to the gay and lesbian community and I, for one, don't want you in my house. You are no longer welcome, traitor. Now, wrap yourself up in your pro-Bush flag and go fuck yourself, you lezzie cunt.
• Rosie O'Donnell Tells All - No bones about it, I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell. She's a fat, disgusting lesbo who thinks the world should listen to her. And the irony is, she really has nothing to say other than to pick fights with others. She trashes anyone who doesn't believe her way of thinking - which is only applicable in Rosieland - and never has a reasonable argument or dialogue to go with her rants. It's always badmouthing and bullying (or, in this case, bull-dykeing). If Rosie presented a cogent reason or argument for her continual diatribes, I might listen, but it seems that for every attack she makes on someone, when she is countered, she pulls the victim card, much like a black person will pull the race card. There is no room for intelligent dialogue with Rosie O'Donnell, as she will start yelling louder and louder just to be heard, but not in an attempt to get a concise idea across. By playing the victim in the View debacle, she attempted to make herself look as if she was being picked on - oh, poor me - boo hoo hoo! The truth is, she's a self-serving, bitter dyke who has nothing better to do than tear down anyone who disagrees with her. I think her days in Hollywood are numbered, and that, my dears, is a blessing from Heaven.

This wraps up today's rant. Tune in next time when I take aim at the Lohan clan and the Bush administration.

Favorite Comic Book Series

Over the past thirty years or more, I have had the pleasure of reading some of the best comic books ever published. For every great series, of course, there is a mediocre one - or one that just stinks up the racks. Listed here are some of the series that I have enjoyed over these many years...

• JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA (1960-1987) - This was the series that got me hooked when I was about 12 years old. I had already been reading comics on a non-regular basis, obtaining one or two during a run to the local 7/11 to get a Slurpee (in those now hard to find plastic cups with the Marvel superheroes on them - my stepmother hated them so they were relegated to our motor home where they died a painful death after being cracked, mashed, lost and used for Dad's fish bait). In 1977, I was not quite 13 years old, and I saw a kid at my junior high sitting under a tree reading a comic book. Curious, I inquired what he was reading, and I remembered how fun I thought comics were, so he and I went to the 7/11 across the street from the school and I picked up two comics - Justice League of America #166, and World's Finest Comics #253. I was hooked! To me, the Justice League was a printed version of the Super Friends TV show I had been watching since 1973, and there were more heroes here than on the small screen - Zatanna, Elongated Man, Black Canary! Who were these people? I needed more and I raced around town on my bike trying to find all the Justice League comics I could locate. Today, I have a complete collection of every issue of the Justice League of America (#1-261 including the three annuals), something I am very proud to own. Highlights for me include the annual Justice League/Justice Society team-ups, Zatanna joining the team, the frequent guest stars from throughout the DC Universe, and the wonderful villains. I would have to say that issue #1 to 200 are the absolute best. When the Detroit League came around, I had already discovered boys and drugs, and I thought the series had lost its heart by then. I also have all the various incarnations of the Justice League published since, including the 1980's comedy JLA, the rebooted Grant Morrison run (which wasn't bad, per se, but didn't float my boat), and the current title. The Justice League will always remain my all-time favorite comic book series...
• AVENGERS (1963-1996) - The original run of the Avengers, Marvel's premiere super-team reminded me alot of the Justice League, except for all the fighting amongst its members. And any team that includes villains - Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Swordsman - has to be a dysfunctional place to begin with. Favorite issues include the runs by George Perez and John Byrne, the Korvac saga, and any issue that guest starred Captain Marvel or the Silver Surfer. I have a near complete run of issues #1 through 402, but I am still missing about 10 different books. I have a solid run of #35 to the end of the series, and I am determined to fill in those missing spaces, come Hell or high water... As with the Justice League, I think Avengers #1 to 200 were among the best, although later issues with the stunning art of John Buscema and the underrated Steve Epting are gorgeous to look at, if not for the story. Loved the Squadron Supreme issues and the various Masters of Evil incarnations as well.
• CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS (1985-1986) - This maxi-series blew my fuckin' mind, especially the deaths of Supergirl and the Flash (Barry Allen). I remember crying when Supergirl died, this book affected me that much. I know that Marv Wolfman had a mandate from corporate to get rid of all the multiple earths, streamline the DC Universe and create one, solid place. Didn't work! As a kid, I had no problem with the multiple earth concepts, and I think that by the 1980's, kids were so fucked up on drugs and mindless television, that the idea was about as foreign to them as Nancy Reagan's wardrobe. I appreciate what Wolfman was trying to do, but I think it failed for so many reasons, especially the disregard for the Golden-Age characters and the history of the Justice Society and other such heroes. The artwork, well, George "Fuckin'" Perez! He managed to cram so many obscure characters into that 12 issue series that it's a wonder he wasn't locked up in a psycho-ward after completing the series. A major highlight for me was the villain issue, #9, and the portrait of the meanest, baddest of the DCU on the cover. An all time favorite.
• FABLES (2002-present) - This Vertigo series isn't all that adult or mature, with only the occasional sex scene or swear word, yet for the past 5 years has been a continuously enjoyable read. Bill Willingham has done an outstanding job in creating a world where the fables and fairy tales of our youth are living and breathing and going about their lives on a day to day basis. And he makes the characters human beings within a realm of fantasy. Mark Buckingham and Steve Leialoha have been the primary artists throughout the series run, with occasional issues done by other artists, but they have consistently hit the mark on every issue, rendering the various characters as individuals, not as stock comic book faces. Three friends of mine have recently read the trades and one has begun collecting the monthly. Last week, my partner asked if he could read the series since several of our friends have been talking about it. I may get him some of the trades for Christmas...
• CONAN (Dark Horse - 2004-present) - I enjoyed the Marvel run of this character, but the Dark Horse series, as originally written by Kurt Busiek and now by Tim Truman, has really rocked my world. The dialogue and the captions sweep the reader into a world of haze and fog, of good and evil, of darkness and shadow. And Conan, as drawn by Cary Nord, is the HOTTEST looking man in comics today! Nord's art shows Conan's muscular physique in all its glory. I can almost smell the body sweat on his glistening thighs and rock hard musculature. I would love to see a nude of Conan by Cary Nord. HOT! This series is a sweeping saga, and bounces back and forth between Conan's early life and later life as a king. If they ever make a new Conan movie, I hope the cast someone who looks exactly like Nord's Conan. I would go see that film, buy the DVD and pray for a television version with a similar hot actor...
• SUPER FRIENDS (1976-1981) - Based on the long running animated show, this series was a joy to read - the stories were compact and done-in-one, and the artwork of Ramona Fradon, as inked by Bob Smith, was breathtaking. Some of the stories were just plain silly, but I really enjoyed reading this comic. The artwork, mostly by Fradon, was based on the animated versions of the characters, which, in turn, were based on the designs of the great Alex Toth. I loved Fradon's simple, clean lines, which made the story that much more entertaining. Later issues introduced heroes from around the world and two of them - Ice Maiden and Green Fire - became members of the in-continuity Justice League in the 1980's. Guess that has to count for something... DC Comics would do well to start collecting this series as a Showcase reprint trade.
• THOR (1966-1996) - When I began reading this series, Roy Thomas was writing it, and I think John Buscema was drawing. Today, the dialogue is stilted, but I remember loving that Thor was an ass-kicker! He didn't take shit from anyone, except dear ol' daddy, Odin. I loved the deep mythological stories and I think that may have helped me in high school. During my senior year, I was in the AP English class, and for one semester, I took Mr. Dyson's mythology class, and I remember writing my term paper on Thor. I got an A minus on that report, and was very happy, yet, back then, I didn't realize the impact the comics version of Thor had on me. Verily, I say thee art amongst the greatest of heroes the world shall e'er know!

That's it for now. The ol' carpal tunnel is acting up...