- Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnancy - Who didn't see this coming? If there is anyone out there ignorant enough to believe that the Spears' clan is anything but a bunch of trailer-dwelling, knuckle-dragging, buck-toothed, barefoot, cousin-fucking degenerates is sorely in need of a cerebral transplant. This 16 year old girl says she is a role model, according to an article in the Red Eye, but says she doesn't think it's right to have premarital sex. WHAT? Now, I understand, Nickelodeon is in a rush to prepare a teen pregnancy special, a la the after school specials of days gone by, to stem the deluge of hate mail and anti-Spears backlash. Ironically, Momma Spears upcoming book, some piece of excrement about being a great parent to a wonderful brood of kids and raising them in the national spotlight, was to be published by a conservative Christian publisher. HA HA! Ain't gonna happen, now, since Momma seems to be intermittently saddened and ecstatic about having a new baby in the double-wide. Meanwhile, the baby-daddy, someone no one has ever heard of, went into hiding immediately following the announcement of the younger Spears-cunt's pregnancy. After all, he's 19 years old, and in Louisiana, knocking up a minor is considered statutory rape. I find this humorous since I thought any girl in Louisiana who wasn't preggers by the age of 12 was considered too ugly to fuck, or had no brothers. I can't wait to see how this one plays out, and I would like to see what the guy looks like who would get involved with a family like the Spears. He's either hot as a gay porn star, or ugly as a dog's butt. If he's smart, he will run like Hell away from that fucked up family, to the Siberian wilderness, cut off his genitals, roast them on an open flame and feed them to a pack of wild wolverines.
- Paris Hilton Does Good - Or Does She? - Ever since she came out of prison, Paris Hilton has been lying low, but constantly runs to the media to gloat about her new found humanitarianism. She wanted to go to Rwanda, but never went, all the while telling every media outlet how much she wanted to help. How in the name of Leona Helmsley could Paris Hilton help anyone? She has the IQ of rubber cement, the looks of a horse, and the morals of O.J. Simpson. Kudos, however, to her new PR people who are obviously trying to get the public to forget Paris the Jailbird and see the new and improved Paris the Giver. Frankly, anything Paris Hilton could give I would be hesitant to take - unless penicillin is prescribed.
- Oprah Runs for Vice-President - Oprah Winfrey has put her considerable weight (absolute pun intended) behind presidential hopeful Barak Obama. She's on the campaign trail with him every step of the way. I had high hopes for Obama until Oprah's endorsement. Now, there's no way in Hell he's getting my vote. Besides, what good could Oprah do? She's the most out of touch with reality celebrity next to Paris Hilton. She doesn't even identify with her own ethnic class. Oprah is the whitest black woman I have ever seen. I unashamedly admit to hating Oprah, especially since she's such a conniving backstabber. After the James Frye debacle, I learned what a viper she is, turning on him and ambushing him on national television, all for the benefit of ratings, and to prove that she is the most powerful woman on the planet. What she doesn't tell us is that for every sale of Frye's book, Oprah gets a percentage, just like any product or book she promotes on her show. Nothing gets mentioned by Oprah for free. Her name is a product - a brand to be bartered and sold. The Angel Network to which she lends her name pays her a stipend every year so they can have her branding. The school for girls in Africa paid her over $3M just to have her name on the door. Every book she has promoted on her book club has grossed her millions upon millions. Oprah does nothing for free - there is always a price attached - much like dealing with the Devil. I wouldn't be surprised if she eats souls for breakfast. Again, I wish she never threw her hat into the political ring. Her stink is all over the campaign trail - most especially the Obama camp.
- Oprah Cries For Abused African Girls - This has got to be the biggest piece of shit to ever be concocted. If Oprah shed one single tear over the alleged abuse at her private school in Africa, it's because her name was attached to it, not because some unfortunate young girl was harmed or abused. I sincerely do not believe that Oprah Winfrey cared one iota about another girl's physical being, unless it impacted her own financial standing. Oprah gains alot from having her name attached to that school - honor, prestige, and the yearly millions for leasing her name. If Oprah is truly upset, it's because this became public. I bet dollars to donuts she tried to squelch the whole thing, but somehow, even her considerable reach couldn't hush things up. So Oprah says she cried for over half an hour when she found out the horrible allegations of abuse, but not for any humanitarian reasons - her name got sullied - and that means more to her than some little black girl halfway around the world in a place that doesn't have running water or modern appliances. Boo hoo, Oprah! I hope Gayle was there to console you, since Steadman was probably too busy in a sling room at a gay bathhouse. And a hearty "Fuck you."
- Madonna Is Secretly Angelina Jolie - Madonna did everything Angelina Jolie did this past year, copying her every move, right down to adopting an African baby. Madonna adopted an "orphan" from Malawi, but I thought the definition of orphan was to have NO parents. This kid has a father, who Madonna paid a handsome million to rent/lease/purchase his kid. Madonna and her husband, Mister Madonna (his real name has been lost to antiquity), bought this kid and when the American press vilified them, she went on Oprah (big surprise) to cry British tears (you're from Detroit, you stupid bitch), that she was doing this for all the right reasons. Yeah. Sure. If publicity is the right reason. You see, Madonna's musical career has come to a screeching halt, much like her movie career. Her albums don't sell nearly as many as they did twenty years ago, and her fan base has grown up and over her. Her most dedicated fans now are badly aging circuit fags, who pop ecstasy while fondly remembering Madge before she became a Limey. So, like Angelina, Vadge rents a baby in a matter of days for a whole lot of lucre. Regular folk who want to adopt usually have to wait years for their turn, but not the Material Cow. She gets her baby right-fucking-now. And since she got a black baby, I wonder if she just needed help around the house with chores and the like, since I doubt very much her own kids lift one fucking finger to do an honest days work. After all, Esther has to spend as much time with Lourdes as possible, to get her as whored up as Mommy to parade her around for the paparazzi to gawk at. You're a true mother, Madonna - a motherfucker.
- Owen Wilson Fails At Suicide - I cannot resist commenting on someone who is rich and famous and needs so much attention that he has to attempt suicide to get noticed. Owen Wilson broke up Kate Hudson's marriage, bagged her and then up and slits his wrists - and lives! What an asshole! Is there nothing he can do right? As far as an actor, his talent runs the gamut from A to A, with no stops in between, but this is outrageous. Dude, you're rich, famous, getting steady - if unnoticeable - work, and you were fucking Goldie Hawn's daughter. What, in your life is so bad that you have to try to kill yourself? WHAT? And truth be told, your brother is a much better actor - and twice as hot as you will ever be. Good luck in your future. If you ever try to do this again, idiot, DO IT RIGHT!
- Michael Vick Rabid as a Pit bull - Michael Vick was convicted of dog fighting, and sentenced to a pitiful prison term of five years, for which he already gets three years off for good behavior. He said he regrets what he did - AFTER HE GOT CAUGHT! Seems the ol' celebrity mindfuck of repentance kicked in - admit guilt, apologize to fans and accept responsibility - but ONLY after getting caught. I have a Christmas wish for Michael Vick - ROT IN HELL YOU MISERABLE FUCKING NIGGER PIECE OF SHIT! I hope you get raped, robbed and thrown into a cage of hungry, abused pit bulls and Rottweiler's. Maybe then you will be repentant, you sick pile of black garbage. I spit on you, your family and most of all on your mother - who obviously raised you to harm anything smaller than yourself. If you die in prison, I will celebrate by having a Thank You party. If you survive, - and you will because you're most likely going to ClubFed - I hope someone shoots you in the balls the minute you step out from your cell. Go fuck yourself, you deranged asshole.
- Ellen Degeneres Sells Out Gay Community - I have very little information on this, but I do know that Ellen Degeneres had one of the Bush daughters on her show a few weeks ago, and together, they called Daddy Bush at the White House just to chat. I find this appalling and disgusting for someone in the gay community. For Ellen to pander to the Republican right by having one of the enemy's devil-spawn on her show is a complete slap in the face to gay people around the world. Since he got into office, George W. Bush has made it a priority to denigrate gays and lesbians, calling for a Constitutional change so that our rights are further buried. And here comes Ellen. Obviously, Ellen hates gays as much as the Bush family loves drugs and booze. And she sold us out. Kudos, Ellen. The day I read this news, I went home and immediately tore through my DVD and book collections, removed everything with you in it, from concert and stand up videos, to books and articles. You are a disgrace to the gay and lesbian community and I, for one, don't want you in my house. You are no longer welcome, traitor. Now, wrap yourself up in your pro-Bush flag and go fuck yourself, you lezzie cunt.
- Rosie O'Donnell Tells All - No bones about it, I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell. She's a fat, disgusting lesbo who thinks the world should listen to her. And the irony is, she really has nothing to say other than to pick fights with others. She trashes anyone who doesn't believe her way of thinking - which is only applicable in Rosieland - and never has a reasonable argument or dialogue to go with her rants. It's always badmouthing and bullying (or, in this case, bull-dykeing). If Rosie presented a cogent reason or argument for her continual diatribes, I might listen, but it seems that for every attack she makes on someone, when she is countered, she pulls the victim card, much like a black person will pull the race card. There is no room for intelligent dialogue with Rosie O'Donnell, as she will start yelling louder and louder just to be heard, but not in an attempt to get a concise idea across. By playing the victim in the View debacle, she attempted to make herself look as if she was being picked on - oh, poor me - boo hoo hoo! The truth is, she's a self-serving, bitter dyke who has nothing better to do than tear down anyone who disagrees with her. I think her days in Hollywood are numbered, and that, my dears, is a blessing from Heaven.
This wraps up today's rant. Tune in next time when I take aim at the Lohan clan and the Bush administration.
No comments:
Post a Comment