Letters

Dear Sarah Palin,

Wow! What an experience it was, eh? Seeing you up on those stages, parading around like the beauty queen you are, spouting hate rhetoric and race-baiting dialogue against your opponent, coming out of the gate at the RNC as a novelty and by the end, becoming a drag on the campaign. You started out so refreshing, and then we learned more and more of your personal life and your politics. Turns out you're not the person you want everyone to believe you are.

But it's over. And you can take your brood of misbegotten children and the "first dud" back to Elk Shit, Alaska, and begin plotting your next national move, which you have mentioned will be to run as president in 2012. Good luck. I think people saw through you the first time, with the ethics commission on "Troopergate," the $150,000 wardrobe, the diva behavior, the atrociousness of your underage daughter being pregnant, and so on. You'd do well to remain in your frozen tundra backyard and fix your own life before you try to get back out into the real world, dearie.

My guess is that you became so drunk on the power of the lights and stages, the cameras recording your every move, that you now believe you can become a national figure in politics. And with that kind of attitude, you may just succeed - look at Jesse Jackson. He's never met a camera he didn't pose for, just like you. And I do believe you have more to say, too. There are too many sinners out there that need to be exterminated from the United States - terrorists such as Jews, gays and - as you call black people - Negroes. The limelight was such an alluring spectacle for you and you probably had flashbacks of your beauty pageant days, but this time, not just competing in Moose Poop, Alaska, but all across the nation.

The next time we see you will be when Bristol-whore has her first child later this year, and then again in the summer when she marries the boy she picked out of a lineup of guys who may or may not be the father. By 2012, we can expect to see you when you parade across the stage at the RNC, your expanding family in tow, and lo, and behold, your youngest daughter is now pregnant. She should be about 15 or so by then, so it only makes sense that she should follow in her big sister's footsteps. What a great mother you turned out to be, eh?

Good luck to you, Sarah Palin. I fervently wish you would stay in Alaska, and leave the rest of the United States alone, because it became clear that you care only about yourself and would do your best to screw the rest of us.

Just like a Republican.